Too many days have been rolling by without my taking much notice of life around me. Part of this I attribute to the disturbance in my schedule from the new paper route job. Rising at 3am, returning around 6:30am... some days I'm awake and stay up, some days I'm beat, so I go back to bed. And this is all greatly affected by when I get to sleep the night before... I'm such a night owl, and summer nights are great family video/dvd nights! It's about priorities! Some days I get it right, lately I've missed the mark.

The other reason I think I've been "off" is that I've become so focused on our circumstances: housing, job, finances - feeling "it's all up to us" to "make it happen". Yes, we obviously need to do the foot work, make the sacrifices, make wise decisions, take work where we can find it - no denying that. But a healthy balance is needed to realize that when the jobs are not available, or the job prospects don't pan out, or I don't get a call for an interview... that's not the whole picture of my life. It sure seems to be the major focus right now, trying to pay the bills, trying to keep income coming it.

So this week I'm thanking God for His forgiveness, His daily new mercies, and the promise of His Holy Spirit's work in my heart.

Right now Timi's finishing his final exam for Math (we've already got the next textbook, ready to start this week.) and Jonothon's reading his US History. We're back on track this week, having taken two of the past five weeks off - once for a camping trip, and last week while Jono was on a missions trip.

I've started a new Bible Study - Beth Moore's DANIEL study and I've begun a new one-year Bible reading plan this week (the boys will be doing it as well). I'm also going to purpose to increase the level of physical activity around here... for all of us. More walks, bike rides, exercise balls and exercise bands (great, while watching a movie!)

Still praying for a permanent ministry position for Chris. And I'm still looking for additional work.

It occurs to me that I'm feeling some discontent because I desire some "NORMAL"... some "SETTLED" in my life. But, God never promised that . Jesus didn't have it while he was on earth. Some people have it, some people don't. Is it more spiritual to be settled and secure? Or just as spiritually healthy to live on the edge, living day to day in faith for the next step God will show you? Do YOU have the answer? I'm not sure I do.
Looking back on my own faith journey, I think I'd rather be in need, a little "UNsettled". Because it keeps me right at His feet and I experience His presence and provision in my life in "high definition"! Sometimes I observe lives that are "settled" and "secure" more as "self-sufficient", rather than God-dependent.
My security is found in trusting God for the next step, knowing that He sees my circumstance and that the Holy Spirit will guide in the life of our family as we seek Him.

Do you read this? Would you let me know? I'd love to know that you read my blog and I'd also love to know your perspective on my perspective.

Have a blessed day!